How to Pray: A Short Guide
I’ve been thinking about how hard prayer feels for many of us… but maybe it’s simpler than we think. Here is a short devotional I just wrote for my More Like Jesus series on how to pray.
DAY TWO: UP ON A MOUNTAIN
Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd.
After leaving them, he went up on a mountainside to pray.- Mark 6:45-46
Word for the Day
Prayer isn’t an escape from the world. It’s the starting point for engaging it well.
Mini-Message
If conflict is the currency of the way of the world, prayer is the currency of the way of Jesus.
Prayer isn’t complicated, though we make it so. It’s simply talking to God—exchanging our fears for His peace, our striving for His strength, and our plans for His presence.
If you want to live differently, it begins with prayer.
The Five Minute Version
After the miracle of the loaves, Jesus sends the disciples ahead and withdraws alone to pray.
Let’s talk about prayer for a moment. It is one of the core practices of this entire book. If we are to learn the way of Jesus and resist the way of the world, we must learn to pray.
And, like everything else, what better way to pray than to pray like Jesus? Let’s consider a few basic questions about prayer.
What Prayer Is
The Greek word for prayer (proseuchomai) literally means “to exchange wishes,” which I love. I tell God what I want. Then I listen, and God tells me what He wants. Of course, I’m free to stick with my wish. But I’ll save you some time: God’s wish for my life is always better than mine.
Think of what God is doing in the response portion of the prayer as a form of divine persuasion. God is trying to show us how to live in a way that leads to life. God, being a gentleman, never forces us to live His way. But if you ask, He will gently guide you and persuade you to choose the better path.
To pray is to invite God to teach you to live differently.
Why Pray?
Notably, this is the second time in Mark we’ve seen Jesus slip away from the group to pray.
The first time, in Mark 1:35, happened early the morning after his first public day of ministry. You may remember the story from Book One. When Peter found Him the next morning, Jesus said, “Nope. No more healings here right now. We’re going a different direction.”
When Jesus goes off to pray, it’s because he’s seeking God’s counsel on what to do next. Jesus puts prayer before performance.
Theologians and saints have written volumes on prayer, but as I do throughout this study on Mark, I want to stay close to the story itself. Prayer appears twelve times in Mark’s Gospel, yet most of it comes later, as Jesus approaches the fulfillment of his mission.
Even that tells us something: the closer we get to what matters the most, the more we need to be in prayer.
How to Pray
Not knowing what to do in prayer is a common problem. People have struggled for centuries with this question. It’s why we have something called the Book of Common Prayer.
So far in Mark’s story, Jesus has not said anything directly to the disciples about how to pray. But he is modeling for them the necessity of prayer, and how much prayer drives his decision making.
I’ll give you the simplest rubric I know for speaking a prayer: Writer Anne Lamott famously said that pray is basically three words: help, thanks, and wow.
Here’s how prayer can work:
[I begin with my most pressing thought today.]
Lord, help Invite Ministries to grow.
[This leads me to the realization that God has given me a ministry to lead—how cool!]
Lord, thanks for entrusting me with the ability to lead a ministry that helps people.
[This leads me to the realization that God has the power to help people.]
Wow, Lord, I am amazed at your power and authority to change lives.
[This leads me to thinking about a friend whose life needs changing.]
And so on, each “Help-Thanks-Wow” statement leading to another, until you’ve said or thought them all.
As for what happens, we listen. Sometimes a thought comes to mind; other times, we wait. Someone once said God has three possible answers to prayer: yes, not yet, or I have something better in mind, which is a form of divine persuasion.
These two rubrics - for speaking and listening in prayer - aren’t bad starter kits for prayer.
An even better one comes from Jesus Himself. In his gospel, Matthew later records Jesus teaching a simple how-to manual we now call the Lord’s Prayer. You can pray that as is, or use the topics Jesus gives and insert your own words.
Why Did Jesus Pray?
If Jesus is God, why does He need to pray?
Because Jesus is also human, walking around, doing stuff. Working. He needs to stay connected with God.
Centuries later, the Benedictines captured this rhythm of life in three words: Ora et Labora. Pray and work. Prayer and action. Two movements in harmony, where prayer (ora) is literally woven into work (labora).
We tend to separate the two. We treat prayer as something mystical and detached from “real life”—a luxury for spiritual elites. Or we plunge headlong into work, convinced that action alone will solve our problems.
Jesus shows us that prayer isn’t an escape from the world. It’s the starting point for engaging it well.
It’s not about getting the words right or performing a ritual. Prayer is simply talking with God: pausing long enough to remember who He is and where our strength comes from.
If conflict is the currency of the way of the world, prayer is the currency of the way of Jesus.
Prayer is in many ways a mystery, but it is the heart of book three. If we are to learn to live differently, it begins and ends with asking God to show us how.
Pray
Lord, thank you for the gift of prayer. Help me not to be afraid of talking to you. Teach me how. Give me comfort, peace, and grow my spirit to the place where I seek opportunities to pray and savor each moment I spend with you. Amen.
Live It
Exchange wishes: Take five minutes to tell God what you want. Then listen for what He wants for you.
Ora et Labora: Where do you need to embed prayer into your daily work this week? Name one place you can pause and ask God for direction.
This week, practice a daily prayer. If you don’t know what to say, start with Jesus’ way in Matthew 6:9-13. Or just use Lamott’s rubric and put a sentence to each: Help. Thanks. Wow.