Stand Up | Mark 3:3
The Way to Trust | Scene 5, Day 4 | Mark 3:3
Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Stand up in front of everyone.”
Mark 3:3
I struggled to write this one because of shame.
Who wants to talk about shame?
Good thing social worker and qualitative researcher Brené Brown says shame is universal. She calls shame “the fear of disconnection.” Shame is the thing inside us that we’re scared to let others see. It is the thing in us that, if made public, will cause us to be rejected.
Everyone experiences it, except maybe sociopaths who lack the ability to connect with others at all.
Growing up, my household was full of shame. Why? Who knows. We never processed it as a family. Fear of failure, perhaps, or the inability to talk about our weakness. I didn’t know this as a child, but as a rule of thumb, the less you talk about your emotions, the more shame you harbor.
That’s how it works: shame thrives in silence.
Shame is a weird paradox because the more we have it, the less worthy we think we are, and the more we shut down with the people in our lives. Then, the more shut down we become, the less connection we have, the more unworthy we feel, and the more shame we feel.
Shame creates a vicious, downward cycle.
In case you haven’t noticed, shame has been a recurring theme of our entire journey so far, beginning with the first story on repentance. In this story, we meet a man who may have lived with a deep sense of shame. His shriveled hand—caused likely through no fault of his own—made him feel unworthy. He lived in a culture where physical flaws often carried social stigmas.
Jesus sees the man at the synagogue, a public place where the community gathered, and immediately wants to help him. There are three key players in this story: the Pharisees, the man with the hand, and Jesus. Each character has something to show us.
We will talk about the Pharisees next, but let’s start with the man. Kudos to him for even leaving the house. Just being there tells us he had inner strength.
You have inner strength, too—probably more than you realize.
But the man was still hiding. So, what did Jesus tell him to do?
“Stand up in front of everyone.”
Can you imagine the thoughts racing through his head?
Are you serious, Jesus?!
Brené Brown might say that the man’s behavior signaled a strong sense of unworthiness. She says the people who feel loved and connected share one key trait: they believe they’re worthy.[i]
So how do you discover worthiness?
You stand up. Worthiness begins with vulnerability.
The only way to overcome your shame is to do the exact thing your shame tells you not to do: make yourself vulnerable.
Brown’s research turns up something Jesus knew two thousand years ago. Shame dies in the presence of someone who sees you and stays.
That’s why Jesus calls the man into the middle of the synagogue.
The synagogue gets a bad rap in this scene because the Pharisees are watching. But there were other people in that room. Neighbors. Family. People who had probably watched him hide his hand for years. Healing wasn’t just between the man and Jesus. It happened in the gathered body, witnessed by people who would now have to decide whether to receive him whole.
Vulnerability is hard. But that’s also why it works.
You cannot grow if you hide. You cannot grow if you let fear of being found unworthy control your actions.
You have to stand up, just as you are. Not someday when you get your stuff together. Now. Vulnerability is about emotional exposure. It’s terrifying, but the only way to grow.
Perhaps, something about you is like the man’s shriveled hand. Maybe it’s obvious, or maybe you’ve done a fine job of covering it up. But shame doesn’t just go away. You can try to sidestep it or outsmart it or just cover it up forever like a permanent scar, but it will continue to damage your sense of worthiness and prevent you from experiencing true connection with others.
To paraphrase my son’s Rocky Balboa poster, shame will beat you down and keep you there if you let it.
Christian psychiatrist Curt Thompson says that shame is “the emotional weapon that evil uses to 1) corrupt our relationships with God and each other, and 2) disintegrate any and all gifts of vocational vision and creativity.”[ii]
When you stand up, you’re reclaiming yourself.
You can heal from your shame, but to do so, you have to confront it head-on. And it’s not easy. As Brown puts it, learning how to be vulnerable is a street fight.[iii] Overcoming shame means standing up, exposing your soul, and making yourself vulnerable to the community.
The actor John Wayne supposedly said, “courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway.” We often think of courage as the willingness to be socked in the jaw. That’s courage, sure, but I wonder if the deeper courage is being willing to confront your own, unnamed, buried shame.
The good news? Jesus stands with you.
So here’s a question: What would it look like for you to stand up this week? Consider a few steps:
Name your shame in a journal.
Share your struggle with one trusted friend.
Pray an honest prayer instead of the polished words you think God wants to hear.
You don’t have to stand up in front of everyone—not yet. But you do have to stand up somewhere, with someone. Even if it’s just you and Jesus.
Healing doesn’t begin when you have it all together, but when you’re willing to be seen as you are.
Pray
Lord, give me the wisdom to recognize my own sense of shame, the courage to stand up and be vulnerable, and the comfort and power to know that you are near and will take care of me, no matter what happens. Amen.
[i] Brené Brown, “The Power of Vulnerability,” TEDx Houston, January 3, 2011,
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[ii] Curt Thompson, MD, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity, 2015), 13.
[iii] Dan Schawbel, “Brene Brown: How Vulnerability Can Make Our Lives Better,” Forbes.com, April 21, 2023, https://www.forbes.com/sites/danschawbel/2013/04/21/brene-brown-how-vulnerability-can-make-our-lives-better/.